The Friend Zone

I enjoy writing letters, especially love letters, and this fictional piece focuses on the touchy subject that confuses boys and girls: “friend zone.” The piece may sound a bit melodramatic, just to warn you. I wrote it after I was inspired by few conversations I had with both male and female friends who gave me many interesting ideas about it. Some part of it was inspired by stories I read online.

Back in high school days, I was a sucker for love letters! πŸ˜€

In Ethiopian public schools (and even colleges), becoming the center of rumor about a romantic affair is very petrifying for most students. Therefore, students try their best to conceal their affairs even though that is a futile attempt—you can barely hide things from your high school friends; they have four eyes.

I kind of miss those innocent school days! The hide and seek game we used to play with either our crushes, friends or parents was too hilarious. However, aside the sweet memories, this “love” issue has always put some high school and college students into trouble because they have little to no freedom to explore it openly. Because of the cultural and parental restrictions, the teenagers find it very difficult to deal with that feeling of attraction when they encounter it, which then can develop into obsession, which has been a recipe for many disasters, such as acid violence. Because of “love,” some fail exams and are kicked out of school. Some attempt or commit suicide. Some get into bad habits such as (underage) unprotected sex, smoking, or heavy drinking. Worse, proper counseling is rarely available.

Anyway, I let you read the fictional letter, written from the perspective of a frustrated guy who considers himself a “victim” of the “friend zone” trap. πŸ˜€

Hey,Β 

I don’t know how to put it, but I must be honest: I cannot be your “friend.” I have told you before that I have feelings for you, and the truth is I still do. I don’t know what those feelings are, I don’t want to label them this or that, but I truly know the feelings I have for you are genuine, real, feelings beyond what “friends” feel for each other. I can’t help it. I didn’t choose to feel them. They just happened, okay! I have no logical or rational explanation.

I am being unreasonable, imagining the impossible. But the fact that I like you more than a friend is not my choice. Blame my heart. Right now, my heart wants you, and only you. Unfortunately, your heart is resisting. You have clearly stated you are not looking for a romantic relationship between us. I don’t blame you. I do actually support that. My brain does. After listening to my brain, I have tried my best to repress those foolish feelings. I have tried to get them out of my system. I have even gone to a counselor. I swear. But nothing has worked so far. And I am burning!

The more I talk to you; the more I hear your voice, your laughter, your frustration, your anger, your sadness, your happiness; the more you giggle, smile, frown; the more I listen to your heart beat; the more I closely watch your strawberryΒ lips; the more I see you day after day, my feelings are only growing stronger. And I can no longer torture myself. I would rather leave you alone and move to a place where I wouldn’t see you. I can’t be stuck in this suffocating “friend zone” that you have enforced. Β Β 

The fact is I would like to have you in my life. I want you. But I know it won’t happen. That is just a fantasy. For whatever reason, you aren’t seeing it happening either. Therefore, I must be realistic now. And the only way for me to be realistic is to run away from you, from our friendship. I just want to liberate myself from these torturous feelings I am experiencing. Nothing against you. You are a great friend. I am only against my feelings. I must fight them. I have to control them, not the other way around. But to do that I must go away. I need to detoxify myself. Β Only then,Β I will have peace certainly.Β 

I don’t know why I feel that. I wish I know. I feel terrible.Β 

So I am not going to be your buddy. Not anymore. I refuse!Β 

I need a fresh air. I have given up. I don’t want to push you to do something you are not interested. And I am not interested in being what you want me to be—just a friend. Find another friend! I am done. I know that when I stop caring, the feelings I have for you will slowly dissipate; perhaps then I may become your friend. But not a close friend, though. Β 

Perhaps, it is good we aren’t in a relationship. It is better we end it this way.Β 

Truly,

Your frustrated ex-friend (who has escaped from the zoo like the cartoon characters in the Madagascar movie). Β 


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Pic source:Β StangzineΒ (click the link to read an article on the same topic written by a female writer)

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What are your thoughts after reading this? πŸ™‚

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8 thoughts on “The Friend Zone

  1. you have captured the feelings very nicely πŸ™‚
    Only today, I was talking with one of my friends about that “friend zone” issue in my single years πŸ˜‰
    actually I was in the “friend zone” which for some was “i have feelings for you zone” πŸ˜†
    I guess there could have been a few letters like what you have written πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    but on a serious note, it is heart breaking when the zones don’t synch 😦
    getting stuck in the suffocating β€œfriend zone” is torture … πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks mon amie! πŸ™‚

      LOL @ β€œi have feelings for you zone” πŸ˜† Am waiting to read letters on that within the next few days! πŸ˜€

      If that is not serious enough, yes, on a serious note, yeah it can be hard for some when the zone turns into β€œi have feelings for you zone” from “we are friends zone,” given the fact the other is not in the same wavelength. πŸ˜†

  2. ha i feel you in this….writing letters is sadly disappearing it seems and there is something so special about it…a more personal touch…the letter you wrote, the line between friends can def get blurred and create some really hard expectations…esp back in the day but…

  3. Loved that letter. Writing letters is more romantic and easier than the actual talking – you can take your own time, choose the best expressions, edit it, write long sentences, cross all word limits… I love writing letters. And enjoyed reading yours too!

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