Here I go again…

smelling the stench
from the basement of my soul,
so disgusting, so foul;
here I go again,
feeling a sharp pain
somewhere in there;
I fail to grin,
though I want to;
I can only groan!
Too many reasons
for such aversion.

Depression is one,
and it hurts so bad!

I’m not the kind
who easily gives up,
but sometimes
I jus wanna die;
I hate this feeling;
I wanna say BYE;
so tired of burning.

I can’t control my revulsion;
I find it hard to heal my emotion.
The continuing erosion
of my spirit raptures my heart,
tears it apart, disgust oozing out.

I’m walking away from the light,
entering the darkest state,
but I don’t want to!

Such a sensitive kid,
a cry baby, you may say,
but I don’t give a damn,
and am not being rude!
Am just gonna walk away
from this horizon!



10 thoughts on “Here I go again…

    1. Yes indeed Amira, it’s a GLOOMY piece! I actually wanted to post it after the holiday, but then I felt like I was cheating myself, … so I posted it despite my half-brain’s protest. … that was what I wrote on that day at that moment. No reason to keep it longer once it has been vomited; for today is a new day, another day, and tomorrow, who knows what can happen, what can be felt.

      Sometimes, walking away is a good solution. At least you can clear your head, and after that you can decide whether you wanna go back to the same horizon or choose a new one. 🙂

      1. Yes, one can get over it (depending on one’s desire to get over it or not, one’s strength or weakness, one’s situation, environment, etc)!

        It’s, however, normal to feel like that sometimes, life is a bumpy road anyway, always. One can’t be smiling all the time just as one can’t be sulking. Every now and then, here and there, one will have to face the different emotions that nature has given us. 🙂

      2. “I’m walking away from the light, entering the darkest state, but I don’t want to!”

        i still say walking away is not the solution. But yes, by all means taking a deep breath and looking at the problem from different angles is good. and then facing the problem straight in its face and saying “I don’t give a damn” can be fun 🙂

        I hope whatever it was, the stench has gone away to never return again 😀

      3. You are so adamant, arentcha? lol .. well that makes the two of us. lol … I think depending on the situation walking away can be a good solution. Sometimes one has to be bold enough to quit. … 🙂 I hope too the stench never returns again. But life is never perfect so we will have to face such scenarios.

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